Communication Essentials
Communication is both expressive and receptive. The expressive part is when I give instructions, guide students through a lesson, or share my perspective. The receptive part is when I understand who I am speaking to and I am open to truly hearing what they have to say. (This may sometimes alter my original message!) I need to consider what it is that I am trying to communicate and recognize that I need to be open, prepared, and ready to receive information as well. To be a strong communicator, an individual needs to be skilled at delivering information, as well as listening and responding.
As a teacher, strong communication skills support us in our ultimate goal of student engagement and student learning. They also support us in a more specific goal: Parental engagement and support.
We are there to guide, support, and challenge students in their learning. Naturally, they are going to resist and we need to be comfortable with this. A healthy amount of resistance, coupled with encouragement and a push of “I know you can succeed, I have seen you do this before!” should push our students enough to get them to work hard. You are not there to get the students to like you, you are there to provide a safe and helpful space for them to learn. What can you do to support their learning? How much to share, how much to hold back? These are the ultimate questions that should guide the way you communicate with your students.
Now, when it comes to communicating with parents, you do need to get the parents on your team. This doesn’t mean that the parents are making the decisions for you, and it doesn’t mean that you are planning your lessons to please them. But parents will be more likely to support you and to encourage their kids, if they understand how you run your classroom, what is expected of students, and how they can offer support. Every time you communicate you should think of the goal: parental engagement and support in order to support student learning.
Through effective, proactive, goal-oriented communication, we can establish “buy-in” from students and their parents. We can do this by:
1. Communicating regularly, positively, and clearly. Be clear with your procedures and expectations
2. Offering timely and specific feedback to support learning.
I have broken this down into two parts: the skills and frame of mind that support proactive communication, and structures that can systematize and streamline it.
Part 1: The skills: and mindsets to help you rock communication!
1. Say what you mean and mean what you say:
If students need to be on time for class, before the bell rings then tell them they need to get to class before the bell rings. And enforce it. If they have a 2-minute window, then tell them that too. But if you don’t enforce getting to class before the bell all year, and then one day you mark students late for just that, you are going to have some very unhappy students. Say what you mean: give clear instructions. Mean what you say: enforce it.
When communicating, think about how your students and parents are going to internalize what you are communicating with them. When people are unsure of what is going on, there is often frustration, disappointment, annoyance, and conflict. And while you can't prevent all conflict, you can minimize it by thinking buy-in, saying what you mean and meaning what you say.
2. Begin with the end in mind:
What are you hoping to get out of the communication exchange?
Are you looking for a back and forth, with a goal of understanding student or parent perspective? Here a scheduled conversation might be best.
Are you looking to convey feelings of empathy and connectedness, where appropriate listening and body language will help you convey this?
Or is your primary purpose to be efficient and clear? Probably an announcement or email update will be the most successful here.
Understanding your goals will help you determine how to have the conversation. Begin with the end in mind.
3. Listen
We jump to conclusions all the time, it’s what makes us respond quickly and effectively to our surroundings. That noise? it’s a car backing up. I don’t have to think very hard to jump out of the way because my brain is wired to make connections and jump to conclusions. But jumping to conclusions too quickly, and regarding people can lead to bias and judgments. So we must train ourselves to listen. We listen so that we can learn, so that we can help, support, guide, and challenge what is really going on, without jumping to conclusions.
Listening is also a strategy to use in places of conflict, to make sure the student or parent feels heard. Yes, you are the teacher but that doesn’t mean you need to (or should) solve every problem! When you find yourself about to jump in to fix someone’s problem, stop yourself.
Here’s the rule when it comes to children, according to Dr. Becky Gilboa: Don’t solve a problem that they can solve themselves. So if a student keeps messing up, as long as their frustration level is at a minimum, stay out of it. Listen to their process, but stay out of it. Smaller successes will build their ability to problem solve, help them gain confidence, and prepare them for larger problems/learning opportunities.
When it comes to parents, there are no real rules. But unless they specifically ask for your suggestions, be there to listen.
4. See from another perspective
We all come at life from our unique experience and perspective. Both in times of conflict, and not, each person views what they encounter with their paticular lense. I have a more analytical perspective, and I am immediately trying to understand trends whereas someone else may respond more emotionally to a circumstance. In the 6 thinking hats exercise, hats are designated colors, to represent six different lenses that people view the world through. The changing hats exercise has individuals move the “hat” around. Come at it from someone else's perspective. So for example, you see a student misbehaving, how does the parent see the student behavior? Along with seeing from another perspective, comes giving the benefit of the doubt. Considering all the various approaches allows you to do the best for student learning.
5. Validate.
To validate means to recognize the thoughts and emotions of someone else. It does not mean to agree neccessarily, but rather to accept and support someone else in what they are feeling. According to the Elizabeth Bernstein, in an article entitled, "Worried About a Difficult Conversation? Here’s Advice From a Hostage Negotiator," the body responds to validation with a release of oxytocin. Oxytocin is a hormone, often referred to as the love hormone, that travels throughout our blood and binds to receptors that interpret the presence of the hormone as, “feeling good.” When you validate someone else, you assist in the release of this "feel good" hormone. This then allows them to be more open to what you have to say too. Validate the thoughts and feelings of students and parents to encourage understanding, engagement, and buy-in.
6. Use plain english
The way we deliver the message can be just as important as the actual message. The language you use should be clear, transparent, and easy to understand.
7. Give quality feedback, specifically related to assignments:
The goal of giving feedback is to create the conditions for student learning, not to overwhelm them! Here are some tips related to giving feedback:
Consider the type of feedback you are going to give BEFORE you assign the assignments. Is it going to be a written response or verbal? Will it be attached to the assignment on posted on your gradebook? Will it be a numerical grade or a written response?
Feedback could be nonverbal, a smile, a pat on the back.
Reference a specific skill or specific knowledge when giving feedback.
Concentrate on one ability or skill at a time.
Utilize rubrics.
Comment on the process, not the product.
Keep it objective and impersonal.
Well timed feedback will have more of an impact than delayed feedback. (Of course, this is not always possible!)
Ensure that your students have understood the feedback
8. Communicate early and regularly
Communicate your classroom policies, structures, and schedules. Provide students and parents with the knowledge of what to expect to encourage their engagement: this is what’s going on this week in our classroom, this is what happened last week in our classroom, this is what the student completed, this is a highlight of student work. Your role is to communicate the specifics of what is going on in YOUR classroom.
Communicate specifics, regularly, regarding individual student progress, and leave a data trail, which will prevent you from having to backtrack later.
Consider this example: You are preparing for parent teacher conferences with the mom of a particularly difficult student. . You sit down to get ready for this conversation, what is going to be a difficult conversation. It would be a lot less difficult if it didn’t happen once a year. If you are in regular contact, giving mom clear and progress related feedback, then both you and she are prepared for that conversation. And if you have data of previous correspondence, clearly communicated structures, it will make this conversation more about the student and procedures and (as much as you can) not at all personal.
Proactively communicating, early, and regularly, will help you gain student and parent engagement, student learning, and parental support,
9. Seek feedback and respond to feedback
You are a master “feedback-seeker” because this is what allows an effective classroom to run. You ask your students all the time what they have understood and what difficulties they are still having! You create formative and summative assessments and then you modify your instruction based on where students are at: this is you seeking and responding to feedback.
I encourage you to do the same for the non-content related skills. Give parents and students a chance to respond and don't only accept, but utilize, and respond to feedback from them. People want to feel heard, it will help them buy-in. You want to do the best you can for student learning, so seek out feedback and there might be something there that will be of value to you
Part 2: How to streamline the process
These are suggestions of systems that you can set up to keep yourself on task and to set yourself up for goal oriented, proactive communication every time.
1. Schedule it:
Determine how often (weekly, monthly) you will communicate with students and parents and schedule it! It would also benefit you to decide in advance what information is going into those announcements to streamline the process! Some examples of what can go in a weekly update is: What to look forward to, reminders of expectations, highlights from the week, highlight student work. Perhaps use a template!
2. Create a master list:
Create a master list of every student and record (with check marks or dates) when you spoke with parents and using what modality.
3. Use forms for progress reports:
Using a template normalizes the feedback process and speeds up the time required to give it. The value of a template is you just need to fill in the categories and not write a lengthy email or risk a phone conversation that you don’t have time for! You can create your own template/progress report with the following categories: student name, student is working on, the reason for the update, and next steps. Use a template, save time.
4. Store contact information in an accessible place:
Make sure you have easy access to parent contact information, if your school doesn’t have a system that makes this information easily available for you to use. I suggest setting up an excel list/google forms of parent emails and phone numbers. You can also store emails in google contacts as groups so you can find them easily. The time spent on preparing this system will save you so much time throughout the year. You don't want the absence of easy to access contact information to prevent you from sending that email out or making a phone call. Finding a way to streamline the process changes the game.
5. Organize your emails:
Don’t open emails until you have time to respond, or, if you have opened them, mark them as unread, or put them in a different folder to get back to them. Responding to emails (and phone messages) in a timely manner is a core component of professionalism and making both parents and students feel heard and connected. Set up the system to prevent errors and forgetting to respond.
6. Schedule time for follow up:
Even quick feedback takes time, depending on the number of students and/or assignments that you are giving. Try not to play the avoidance game of pretending that if you don’t plan for it, it will go away. Rather, schedule time for it! Arguably feedback is more important than your expertly designed slides or finding the perfect activity to introduce a new topic. Some suggestions:
Alternate due dates, when possible.
Research and play around with systems that allow for quick but effective feedback.
Schedule office hours.
Have a place where you record meetings/emails that you sent out, and save time for follow up
7. Model the process:
Educate students on how to give and receive feedback from one another. Model receptive body language and tone of voice. Encourage active listening, that we listen to encourage more from the speaker. During full class discussions, give students the language and sentence structures to use to agree, disagree, and develop what another student is saying. Show them how to turn toward one another when they are speaking. Modelling is a very important form of teaching, you may notice that just modelling is not enough, it needs to be taught directly, in that case, you can build communication skills directly into your lessons.
7. Build social-emotional connection and communication into your lessons:
Remember the goal: buy in! Connected students feel secure in their learning environment, can bounce ideas off of one another, can respond to feedback and challenge themselves. Build trust within the classroom environment through working on community building and communication with your students! “I am here for you, our school is here for you.”
And there you have it! How to use the tools of effective communication to improve student learning by engaging with students and their parents!
Was there a particular communication mindset that spoke to you as something you want to work on?
Is there a structural change relating to how you communicate with students and parents that you are going to make after listening to this episode?
Please post a comment, ask a question, or leave a review!
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